Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the disease.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the present time," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "calm" as he directs his attention to his immediate wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the illness worsens.
"Maybe that's shock or maybe I process things in another way, and once I have the details, it's simpler," he added.
Initial Indications
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder area while working out in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the issue, a series of scans revealed nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately quite emotional about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like everything is fine," he added.
"I don't feel ill. I don't feel unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I continue to be competent to performing anything and everything. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Disease Progression
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the organization MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a one-third of people within a 365 days and more than half within 24 months of identification, as eating and respiration become more difficult.
Medical care can only slow worsening.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Personal Effect
Conversing from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he spoke about informing his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and began cleaning the drops off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the present.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be so intensely directed on just welcoming and savoring each moment now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been really lucky that the primary choice I made when I left playing was to spend as much period with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those years back."
Sportsman Link
Professional sportspeople are unevenly impacted by MND, with research proposing the prevalence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the general population.
It is considered that by reducing the air obtainable and causing harm to nerve cells, consistent, strenuous training can initiate the condition in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his brave, relentless method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a practice scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a tackle pad and started participating in tackles.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the line-out in the crucial phase of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop kick.
Assistance Community
Moody has already told Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a few other ex- colleagues about his diagnosis, but the others will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the minute, just having that sort of love and acknowledgment that people are available is all that matters," he said.
"This game is such a excellent group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a duration with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will desire to assist in every way they can and I await having those discussions."
